2020.07.13 Monday
Download Formats: M4V, AVI, MTS, MKV, M2TS, 3GP, ASF
original title: Women of the Prehistoric Planet
genge: Action,Adventure,Romance,Sci-Fi
imdb: 2.7
duration: 1h 30min
tags: It's the battle of the sexes as savage planet women attack female space invaders!
keywords: outerspace, racism, primitiveman, interracialrelationship, fatherdaughterrelationship, cavedweller, amazontribe, independentfilm, surpriseending
My second thought: "Well, Linda and Tang made a cute couple, alright, but the movie makes it clear that there are ALREADY primitive people on the planet besides them, and so the whole "Adam and Eve" plot twist just doesn't work. They were probably killed and eaten 20 minutes after the Cosmos I took off for the last time".
My third thought: "Two comedy relief roles in the movie was a bad idea. Both these actors have been genuinely funny elsewhere (especially Margolin, who more than pulled his weight in series TV roles), but they are really out of their elements here. They are (in Mike Nelson's words) "dead rotting squirrel(s) in the punchbowl of the screenplay". Actually, Nelson was talking about another actor in another movie in another book he wrote a few years back but I think this simile is quite appropriate here.
My fourth thought: I recognized one of the 'ray guns' the crew was using as a plastic toy that I played with as a child. It was a "Secret Agent Man" weapon - you pretended you were a secret agent about to be attacked and you pressed a button on the side of your 'radio' and a barrel shot out of the side and the 'speaker' unfolded to become a pistol grip. They cost about $3.99. They were cool toys, yes, but they were TOYS. I very nearly hurt myself laughing upon seeing this one resurrected as a prop in a science fiction movie.
Similarly, at one point, a crew member strings a piece of TWINE across a creek bed (filled with dry ice) for the exploring party to hold onto as they walk across the (8 foot) gorge via a fallen tree. I repeat: not a rope, not a cable,but a piece of TWINE, not even suitable for flying a kite on a March afternoon. I understand that the budget would be skimpy in a movie like this, but this was ridiculous.
So, in general, this was a pretty dopey movie, and one that did not live up to the promise of its title (there is just one woman) or the tag-line (we never see any primitive "women" interact with Tang, the crew, or Linda in any way). It's not even bad enough to be memorable. However, I'm sure the audience enjoyed it as background noise while they were making out at the drive-in! It's just horribly horribly bad... You spend two-thirds of the movie waiting for the prehistoric women to show up, and they disappoint. Bad. Really Bad. Not nearly as bad as Manos: 'The Hands of Fate'. But still just horrible. So bad... How long till this post is allowed? Thank god I was only watching this as part of MST3K. No, this comment is not gonna be helpful. Well... Yes it is, because this is so bad... What else needs to be said? It's just that freaking bad. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD Movie.... Kilroy was here. That's the bottom line, because Joel Hodgeson said so... There is no reason for this movie, it just is what it is, and you're left to deal with it...
Seriously, whether or not this comment makes the it to the website or not doesn't really matter. This movie was bad. Why? Because it doesn't have any redeeming qualities (except for a single Centaurian, who just happens to be hot).
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